Transformational Counseling is about assisting another to transform his
life.  Transforming ones life is not about changing it. 
While life is much about doing differently, the genesis of the
transformation is about a person altering or transforming his belief or
thought of who he thinks he is.  We tend to believe that our life
is determined or influenced by people, places, things, situations and
circumstance and that who we are is the mere accumulation of our past
experiences but this is not so.  Rather, it is our thoughts and
beliefs that determine our experiences and life and also that we are
completely and solely responsible for their creation.  What we
think and believe, especially about ourselves, determines our emotions
and behavior in the world and it is our behavior that merely validates
what we think and believe about ourselves.  Furthermore, we
believe or think that we know who we are in life but the reality is
that we truly do not.  Much of who we are really being we are
simply not present to.  Much of our life is spent in pretense and
who we are really being is hidden from
us.          



Given that much of our life is lived in pretense, from the construct of
ego, becoming present to that which is hidden, to who we are being in
life, is absolutely necessary for transformation.  It is in that
which is primarily hidden from us that one will discover what is
determining ones life, referred to here as ones self-limiting
belief.  The first component of the transformational process is
for one to become present to the hidden thoughts and beliefs that have
been limiting him in life and in particular to his self-limiting
belief.  It is in the being of the self-limiting belief that one
will discover the primary constraint or barrier to his life, to him
living a life that he loves and living it powerfully.  We live
life from who we think we are.  Who we think we are forms the
context for our life.  Having the awareness or distinction of the
self-limiting belief allows one the ability to not be it, to not have
his life be merely the probable almost certain future from the
past.  Without the distinction of the self-limiting belief one
will continue to create his life from the backdrop of this ideational
barrier and as a result life will appear much as it did in the
past.    



Becoming present to that which has been hidden, to that which has been
truly determining his being in life, allows one the opportunity to
transform his life.  Once one gets who he has been being in life,
the second component of transformative process is for the individual to
begin to create his life as a possibility.  Once the distinction
of the self-limiting belief is gotten, the individual is now able to
truly create a new possibility for himself and his life.  Getting
the self-limiting belief creates the space or an opening for a
possibility or possibilities to be invented not as a result or product
of the barrier or constraint but from or out of nothing.  It is
only from nothing that possibility can truly be  
created.  As with the self-limiting belief, possibility exists in
language.  Once one gets the language that he has been being, that
has defined and limited him through being his self-limiting belief, it
is at this point that he can begin to recreate himself through the
power of his word.  Who we are is our word.  In is in ones
language or word created out of nothing that one has access to
possibility and transformation.  



The technique described below is designed to assist an individual in
becoming present to his self-limiting belief and in the process to
create the space or opening for him to invent a possibility or
possibilities for recreating his life.  



1.  Find a relaxing and comfortable space to sit in for
approximately one hour.  Arrange for this space to be free of any
distractions.  Just allow yourself to begin to relax.  Become
present to where and who you are.  The use of therapeutic
relaxation music can promote the development of a very profound sense
of relaxation to enhance this experience.    



2.  Take a notebook and begin to write down everything that you
believe describes or defines who you are.  Let your mind wander
and do not try to filter or block out anything.  Just let whatever
comes up about yourself, how you feel and what you think about
yourself, to be written down.  Who you think you are or that which
bests describes you may appear in single words or short phrases. 
If in a group, share your description of yourself with others. 
Furthermore, make two lists as there will appear to be both positives
and negatives aspects about who you think you are.



3.  Sit your notebook down, close your eyes and begin to relax
deeply again.  Again, the use of therapeutic relaxation music will
assist you in the process of creating a very deep state of
relaxation.  As you begin to move into a deep state of relaxation
allow yourself to begin to drift back through time, back through your
life, back through your adulthood, adolescence and into your
childhood.  Allow yourself to become present to how you were
being, experiences, thoughts and feelings, through the various phases
or stages of your life.  Just become present to or notice what
appears for you.



4.  Open your eyes and return to work on your notebook.  Take
a look at what you have written and add anything that you became
present to about yourself during the above mentioned relaxation
exercise.  Again, do not filter out anything but merely allow
whatever there is to come to the surface, both the positive and
negative words that best describes who you think and feel you are or
were.



5.  Once you have come to a completion of creating the lists, both
positive and negative, consider that the positives of who you think
yourself to be form the pretense of your life and that their design or
function is to fix the negatives of who you think you are.   



6.  Allow yourself to become present to the negatives you have
written down.  Notice which one of the negatives best describes
who you are, what you commonly believe and feel about yourself, what
you have experienced in your mind in the past and even now. 
Declare the negative aspect that is familiar to you to be your
self-limiting belief.



7.  Place your notebook in your lap.  Allow yourself to
become fully present to the fact that what you have written is you, is
who you believe yourself to be.  Become present to an inauthentic
way of being, the positive as pretense and the negatives as that which
we hide from ourselves and the world.



8.  Place the notebook into your past.  If you are right
handed place your notebook to your left.  If you are left handed
place your notebook to your right.  Place the notebook
approximately three feet from you.



9.  Once you place your notebook into your past allow yourself to
become present to where your notebook is in relation to your body, to
your right or left.  Allow yourself to again become present to
that which you have written in your notebook is who you believe you are
and that it exists to either your right or left.



10.  Once you become present to who you believe yourself to be, to
the description of yourself as you have written, allow yourself to
become present to what now lies in front of you.  Given that who
you think you are is either to your left or right, become present to
what exists in front of you is nothing, an opening from which
everything and anything is possible and can be created.  



11.  Inside the nothing that appears in front of you, invent a
possibility or possibilities for yourself and your life.  Declare
your possibility in language or word, of who you will take on being in
life, for yourself.  Furthermore, this declaration becomes your
personal affirmation of who you will be in and for the
world.    



12.  Repeat this exercise everyday.  Repeating this exercise
daily will allow one to continue to stay present to his self limiting
belief so as to not be it and also to the possibility or possibilities
that he has created and invented for himself and his life. 
Continuing this exercise will also allow the further possible unveiling
of the self-limiting belief.  The self-limiting belief that one
initially becomes present to may reveal even deeper meaning for who one
is or has been being.    



The exercise outlined above is about the work of the first two
components of Transformational Counseling and one beginning the process
of transformation.  Once one gets the distinction of his
self-limiting belief and creates a possibility or possibilities for
himself and his life, the third component of transformation involves
learning the process of enrollment.  Enrollment is a powerful
technique for allowing one to stay living into his possibility and out
of his self-limiting belief.  The fourth component of
transformation is about creating a daily plan.  The daily plan
allows one the opportunity to continue to live into or generate his
possibility in his life on a daily basis.  The fifth component of
transformation involves a commitment to stay in the conversation of
transformation.  It is in staying in the conversation that one
experiences the nonlinear nature of transformation thereby keeping the
process alive in his life.   

 

Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC

http://www.enhancedhealing.com

article source: Healthy Living Article Directory.com